


Was I wrong?

by skyewardsstan_fics (nathyfaith)



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Male-Female Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2014-04-06
Packaged: 2018-01-18 06:35:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1418550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nathyfaith/pseuds/skyewardsstan_fics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes the best way of fighting your fears is through someone else's eyes, Ward shouldn't be surprise that May is such a good friend even if now that they had ended things, but with her help and also Coulson's he will win the battle and admit that his Rookie is worth of his heart after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Was I wrong?

**Author's Note:**

> MayWard friendship written by justdrabbles, hope you guys enjoy it!

It didn’t take her by surprise anymore whenever she sees him sitting on the passenger seat in the cockpit. It became a normal thing for them to do; something bad happens, he/ she caused it, and at the end of the day, despite the sloppy ending of their “relationship”, they would always find each other in the cockpit, waiting for the other. 

So, it wasn’t a surprise to see him slouching on the passenger seat when she entered her sanctuary that evening. It was a rough day, especially for him because he needed to take someone’s life. She understood why he did it. She would’ve done the same thing if it were Coulson who he was mentioning. Oh, he was, but the way “the Clairvoyant” mentioned Skye was just too much anyone could handle, especially Ward.

She took her seat, fastening her seatbelt before disabling the auto. She would fly the plane manually whenever she needed to think. It calms her.

“Melinda,” he spoke after ten minutes of silence. It took her by surprise that she called him by her first name. He doesn’t do that often, only when..  _Oh._  This must be serious then, she thought. She thought back to the first time he called her “Melinda”. It was the night their arrangement started when he confided in her about his nightmares. 

“Yes?” she answered, pulling herself out of her thoughts.

“Was I wrong?”

“Yes.”

“But –”

“Let me finish,” she cut him off. “You were wrong doing what you did, but I understand why you did it.”

“Would you have done the same?”

“If it were his name on that guy’s lips, maybe.”

“Does he know?”

She flinched visibly at his question. Though it was a question he always asked her, it still caught her off guard every time he does. When she ended their relationship, he started confiding in her. And she did the same thing. They were the same person. It would be understandable.

“No,” she finally answered, and from the corner of her eye, she could see him shaking his head disappointingly.

“You have to tell him, you know,” he said. “Before you lose him again..”

“I will if you tell her.”

“I can’t.”

“I can’t, either.”

“Melinda,” he warned. He was using that tone he used whenever she did or said something that he saw wasn’t right. But she wasn’t the only one who was stubborn, and so she returned, “Grant,” with the same tone.

Silence fell over them before he spoke again. “Do you trust me?”

When she didn’t answer, he sighed and said, “It’s okay. I don’t trust myself, either.”

“Grant, don’t –”

“It’s okay, Melinda,” he smiled. “You know I trust you, right?”

“Yes.”

“Can I tell you something then?”

“You can if you already told someone,” said Melinda. When she saw him cocking his head towards her with quizzical eyes, she continued speaking. “Grant. It’s not that I don’t appreciate your trust, but I don’t want you to feel obliged with talking only to me just because you’re scared of talking with others.”

“I have,” he said. “I have talked about it with Coulson earlier.”

“What did he say?”

“I have a feeling you’ll say the same thing.”

“Then shoot.”

“Do you think I can make it?”

She didn’t have to ask what he was talking about. They talked about this before, but she was in his position then. She said the same words, and back then, he didn’t have to ask what she meant, too.

“Yes, I believe you can make it,” she answered.

“She looks at me like I’m a monster.” he replied sadly, staring blankly ahead where clouds were passing by. “She looks at me like I’m broken.”

“She does because you do.” she said. “If you stop making yourself feel like you’re a monster and feel like you’re broken, maybe she could stop looking at you like you are.”

“I only killed that guy because..” he trailed off. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to let those simple words come out of his mouth, but luckily for him, he didn’t have to. Melinda knew what he meant.

“I know, Ward,” she replied. “You don’t have to say it.”

Silence fell over them again, but they didn’t mind. It was a way for the both of them to think what could comfort the other. It was him who broke the silence again. He sat sideways so he could face her.

“Mel?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t.”

“I’m sorry if –”

“Ward, stop,” she said sternly, her hands tightening around the wheel. “Do not do that. It wasn’t either of our faults.”

“I should have told you.”

“I already knew.” she said. “I’ve seen the way you look at her, Grant. You’ve changed.. And I’m not the only one who noticed.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Daddy says you’ve changed.” she paused for a while before continuing, “For the better. _She_  makes you better.”

“She’s too good for me.” he said, barely a whisper. If it weren’t for the fact that they were alone in the cockpit at midnight, she wouldn’t have heard it.

“Only if you believe it is.”

“Didn’t know you were a fan of Alice in Wonderland, Melinda May.” he laughed. She rolled her eyes before letting a small smile form on her lips. They were met with silence again, and this time, she was the one who broke the silence. “Do you regret it?”

“No.”

“Will you tell me why?”

“She’s safe,” he said. “And so is the team.”

“Don’t pull that crap on me, Ward.” she chuckled. “And so is the team? Really?”

“Yeah, May.” he laughed with her. “I care about the team, too, you know. Shocker much?”

“Shocker of the year,” she smirked. He laughed more before sighing. He raised his hand, reaching out for hers. She gave him her right hand, and smiled when he held it between both of his. They stayed like that for minutes before she put the plane on auto, and sat sideways to face him. She held both of his hands in hers, and said,  “You still haven’t told me what you wanted to say. I know there’s more.”

“I’m scared,” he replied as he looked down at their joined hands.

“It’s okay to be scared,” she said while giving his hand a squeeze. “It’s okay to feel, Ward; especially for her. She wears her heart on her sleeve, and it affects every single one of us. You, of all people, should know that.”

He was rubbing her knuckles with care when he spoke again, “What if.. What if I’m just..”

“You’re not,” she smiled. “Don’t think like that. You are not broken, Ward. She knows that. I think it’s about time that you do, and maybe when you do, she’ll stop looking at you as if you were.”

“I am broken, Melinda,” he whispered, looking down. “I’m broken,” he said again, shaking his head in shame.

“Grant Ward, you are not a broken man.”

“But what if I am?” he asked, finally looking up to meet her gaze through his watery eyes. “What if I am broken? I got the Berserker rage in me and will still have it for decades, got my will taken from me and slept with the enemy, forced to share secrets I didn’t want to put my head to. I’m so broken, I got my feelings took over and killed a guy just because- because,” he didn’t get the chance to continue as a sob escaped his lips.

“Oh, Ward,” she gasped as she got on her feet and pulled him up with her to wrap her arms protectively around him. She wrapped one arm around him, while her other hand was rubbing the back of his head in a comforting manner. “It’s okay,” she soothed. “Sshhh, it’s okay. I’m here, Grant, I’m here.” She continued whispering comforting words into his ear, and when he finally calmed down, she coaxed him to sit as she sat beside him.

Taking his hands in hers, she squeezed them to gain his attention, and when he finally looked up at her, she said, “I can’t fix you, Ward, because I am broken myself. But I have someone who can and is trying to fix me, and right now, he’s snoring in his private bunk in his office. I can’t fix you, but  _she_  can. You have to let her fix you, Grant. You have to let her in.”

“I can’t lose her,” was the only thing he said as a lone tear fell from his eye.

“I know, Grant,” she smiled, lifting her hand to wipe his tear. “That’s why you have to let her in. Let her in, and let her fix you, because she’s the only one who can.”

After thinking about it for a few moments, he nodded and gave her a smile before standing up and hugging her again. He squeezed her in his arms, enjoying the protection he felt. He whispered a thank you against her hair before letting go of her and heading towards the door.

“And Grant?” she called out before he could leave the cockpit.

“Yeah?”

“If you think she’s too good for you, don’t let her go. Make yourself good enough to deserve her, instead.”

“Funny,” he mutters, amusement evident in his tone. “Coulson said the same thing.”


End file.
